1 Pie Pumpkin
1/2c Blue Cheese, crumbled
1/2c Pecans, crumbled
1/2c Brown Sugar
1/4c Heavy Cream
2 Eggs, beaten
2tbl Fresh Thyme
Salt
I have made a buttload of pumpkin pies in the past
but the Blumpkin Pie is the most pleasurable experience I have had in a long
time. “Holy shit that piece of pie is huge! It totally dwarfs that pumpkin!” First,
you are a fucking idiot; the pumpkin in the picture is the size of my fist.
Second, that statement is totally insensitive; those people would prefer you
say “it totally midgets that pumpkin.” Dickhead.
Most people turn their delicious savory pumpkin into a
goddamn sugar bomb; this is stupid. Doesn’t it make sense to channel the
original flavor of the ingredient in question into the final product? I decided
to mix blue cheese, pecans, fresh thyme, and brown sugar into fresh pumpkin as
a sweet and savory pie experiment. It should come as no surprise that I fucking
rocked the shit out of it, per usual.
Find one of those little pie pumpkins at the store. You can
use a carving pumpkin but your entire family will laugh their asses off and
make fun of you for the rest of your sad pathetic life because it will taste
like garbage. Oops, I mean, only use a carving pumpkin; those pie pumpkins
don’t work for pies.
Half the pumpkin lengthwise, scoop out all the stringy shit
and seeds, cut the halves in half, place them skin side up in a casserole dish,
cover, and bake at 400 degrees for about 40 minutes. They are done when a fork
can be inserted into the flesh with ease. When they cool down a little, remove
the skin and puree the goo with an immersion blender. I only used a little over
half my pumpkin and I just threw the rest in the fridge for future use.
Add all the other crap to the pumpkin and pour it into a pie crust. Bake it at 350 degrees for about 55 minutes. Start checking it at
40 minutes as it may need a tin foil tent to prevent excess doo doo browning.
Let it cool completely.
Dig in with your hands and smear that Blumpkin Pie all over
your face. Since it contains cheese, store the pie in the fridge or else your
next Blumpkin Pie will lack the same structural integrity. Eat it.
6 comments:
I'm glad you used a real pumpkin! Smart move after my real pumpkin pie bested your canned one last year!-E
H
You only bested me beacuse I forgot to add sugar!
Dingleberries go great with blue cheese, too...they make it taste less shitty. With pumpkin pie, I'd go with american cheese. But then again, I'm not a terrist. Or maybe pepper jack, because cannibalism isn't terrorism and that fucker Jack had it coming.
Actually the blumpkin pie sounds tasty, like great bathroom eating. I just wish I could handle blue cheese.
Last night I made cassoulet with rabbit, chicken, andouille, lightly smoked pork belly, fennel, and enough white wine to ease the pain all DC feels about your departure. And I know what you're thinking...fuck you the rabbit was cheap in the freezer at the asian grocer, not some boojie gourmet luxury. Ridding the world of cute woodland animals. Just doing my part.
How do you forget to add sugar to a pie?
that sounds fucking disgusting dude
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