Brussels Sprouts
Red Onion, sliced
Sardines in Mustard, canned
Roasted Garlic (break the head into cloves, oil, baking sheet, 375deg ~20min)
Sea Salt & Black Pepper
Like just about everyone else in this godforsaken world, I
fucking hate mushy Brussels sprouts. I have tried various methods of
preparation and roasting is by far and away the superior technique. The other
day, however, I was making my world famous Roasted Brussels Sprouts and made a surprising discovery. While slicing those bad boys in half, I happened
to pull off a leaf and taste it just for shits and giggles. Shockingly, Brussels
sprouts taste fantastic raw. The moral of the story here is that you should be
putting more shit in your mouth.
Cut the node off the Brussels sprouts, halve them, carve out the core, pull all the leaves apart, and toss with the red onion. Toss
that salad, gently and sensuously. Plate it up and add a few sardines and
garlic cloves in a decorative manner with a drizzle of the mustard sauce. If
you want to be super fancy like me you can mince some red onion, mash it up
with a few sardines, cram it into a small dish or cup (I used an espresso cup),
and plop it down on top. It looks cool and fools people into thinking you know
what you are doing without them seeing right through you.
If you want to be super-duper fancy you can plate it Muse-Douche
style. The problem with this method is that everyone will immediately realize
you are an insecure pretentious prick who desperately seeks attention and
approval. This will become abundantly clear once you start asking your guests
how they like the food and then offering a multitude of excuses for why it is
barely palatable before they even have a chance to answer you. “Well, I thought
it was pretty good but you have done an excellent job convincing me that it
sucks shit.” Eat it.
11 comments:
looks great except, sardines? really? thats just fucking nasty
I'm afraid you might clock me, but I'm a gonna go ahead and ask anyway: Do the whole sardines have bones? If so, that would be a real buzz kill. I could handle their salty stinkiness if they don't have bones, but I've only ever eaten the thin sliced ones--not the whole.
That sounds like an interesting way to try sardines. I keep confusing them with anchovies and that scares me away. :p
Yes, sardines have bones. You can eat the fuck outta them. Tasty!!! Try it and have a healthy meal for once.
Don't know if you ever tried this but I made a great discovery when I was cooking them on a skillet. I added some apple liquor and the end result was a very flavorful dish. I;m sure apple juice would work as well..give it a try.
Like apple pucker?
1/3 cup berentzen apple liquor with some olive oil
quite good
I was joking about the apple puker but that sounds good.
My chola used the same base the next day but added chorizo and sliced roasted yukons in lieu of sardines. It was freaking badass.
great idea with the chorizo and potatoes, I'm gonna try that next time...thx
i put 4-6 brussell sprouts in a small plastic microwaveable dish. I hit that for 60 sec, then add another vegetable like snap peas or cauliflower, then hit it for 60 sec again, stir and 60 sec again. tastes fine.
whats that orange turd thing on the plate in the second picture
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