Yeah fucking right. As a gluten enthusiast
and fanatic, I can’t even envision a world without the magical wonder of such a
protein composite. I bet all those hypochondriacs who vainly attempt to purge gluten
from their diet don’t even understand why. They were probably just told by
their voodoo holistic armchair doctor that it is a “toxin” and needs to be “flushed”
in order to feel at one with the Buddha. What’s next? Don’t tell me people are
going to stop eating carbs, or god forbid red meat. I’ll stick to stuffing my face with whatever the hell I want and not following some ridiculous hippie fad.
Oh yeah, I made this breakfast sandwich. It is comprised of fresh
off the leg prosciutto di parma, two over easy eggs, mascarpone, a light
drizzle of olive oil and freshly cracked black pepper on a delicious super-extra
gluten ciabatta roll. Eat it.
40 comments:
As a big advocate for gluten-free cooking I am outraged at this post. You ass!!! I would like to continue to berate you... however.... I am just too weak do to my stupid diet!! Screw this Im going to get some bread!!
Bread is good. This sandwich is to die for. Mascarpone on eggs? wow, I'll eat & then run around outside for awhile.
I refuse to learn why gluten is supposed to be so bad for you. Just another thing for the fanatics to obsess over. This sandwich sounds really good.
Supposedly, 1 in 10 people are allergic to gluten. Be glad you aren't one of them.
Is "supposedly" one of those fancy medical terms like psychosomatic?
Super extra gluteny ciabatta rolls are alright by me.
It is a interesting posts. It would be great if you can provide more details about it.
Cooking Equipment Melbourne
This post makes me want to have your babies and/or abortion, wherever you stand.
Go fuck yourself. Gluten makes me sick, as in I will vomit in your ugly face if I eat it. Go fuck yourself again, and have some sympathy for those of us who literally cannot consume beer and bread.
Looks yummy and healthy to me:-)
LMAO!! Nice job! I have HAD it with this Gluten Free BULLSHIT! Get a a treadmill and run if you need to lose weight. Stop making people uncomfortable and RUINING family holidays, going out to eat with others, and any other way you throw this ridiculous, greedy, made up disease. I realize their is such a thing as Celiac disease, but LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING....If you're reading this, you know you don't have it, rather, the need to defend it because YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT!!
GlutenHater, calm the fuck down!! he's not making fun of people who are allergic/whatever you call it, people who physically can't eat gluten. he's making fun of those people who've decided that gluten, like practically everything else humans shove into our faces, is "bad" for you and that all of the world's fat people are fat because they eat it and blah blah fuckin blah. it's another fad diet. i imagine he may possibly feel sympathy for you since you "literally cannot consume beer and bread" (and i would too, except you're an angry fucking cunt who needs to take their misplaced anger elsewhere), however, as i and he can consume these things, and enjoy it, we will continue to. people who insist you change their diet based on the current "diet" trends are the ones who need to go fuck themselves. and you, also, for getting your panties in a wad. jesus christ.
OMG laughing so hard!
It was that pithead Oprah who started fermenting this can of worms by saying stuff like "I'm detoxing from gluten" on her idiot show.
I work at a busy restaraunt and see a lot of this gluten free bullshit. I've had salads sent back because they had a piece of bread on them. Guess what, I didn't remake that shit! You're not going to go into anaphylactic shock from a piece of bread you fucking numb nuts! So take the bread off your salad, shut the fuck up and eat your food! I used to think there was nothing worse than a vegan untill this shit happened!
I am an executive chef of a fine dining restaurant in Orlando, FL. I too have the daily pleasure of dealing with these attention starved idiots who feel the need to require me to make them something special because they have a gluten "allergy". In only the past two years has this "epidemic" reared it's ugly head. You are not allergic!! By the way, every employee in the restaurant laughs at you and calls you a fricking asshole when you make this claim. GO KICK ROCKS!!
You all are high misinformed on the dangers of eating gluten for Celiac Disease suffers.
It causes the villi in your intestines to atrophy so that you can not absorb food. I don't understand the comments about people using a Gluten-Free Diet to lose weight, as I use a the diet to GAIN weight.
Go read the wikipedia article on it. I'm not an attention craving narcissistic hypochondriac. I have a simple but strict diet requirement that I have to adhere to in order to live comfortably, and to not reduce my life span.
Not craving attention?!?!?!? Funny you had to annouce to the world on this post that YOU have a REAL aversion to gluten. Fuck you. Go eat a bag of flour IDIOT!!
As a retired pastry chef trying to earn a few extra bucks, I made some goodies and went by the neighborhood farmers market and tried to sell some. Tourists bought some but the yuppies and hippies who pretend to be locals )I live on Kauai) acted like I was a terrorist. First they asked if the ingredients were organic (like I could afford to bake with organic - I'm in Hawaii!), then if my desserts were vegan, and finally if they were gluten-free. Go fuck yourselves! I never heard about a person being allergic to gluten until the past few years. What the hell am I supposed to bake with applesauce and xanthan gum and tofu and soy! The LeCordon Bleu taught us to use butter, flour, sugar. These assholes make me sick!
People who are allergic, or have Celiacs, when they eat out, well, someplace new at least, they call ahead, warn their server, and talk with the manager. They do not send back a salad that got a crouton on it. That is something assholes do. The funny thing about people with allergies is that they are extraordinarily loyal and frequent customers. *Safe* food is hard to come by.
Dear asshole and line dick,
You got your names right. This is not a fad for myself or my daughter. It is not a choice we have celiac disease. If we get gluten it can be very painful and the vomiting and diarrhea are not imaginary. If i eat that salad that had croutons on it I will probably have diarrhea in your restaurant. We have a MEDICAL CONDITION diagnosed by a MEDICAL DOCTOR using invasive medical tests. I would LOVE to order regular food with gluten but I CAN'T ! To the executive chef, you should know better because you SHOULD have some education regarding food.
Wow, this is really sad. I wonder if you would feel free to make fun of someone who had cancer or was physically disabled as well. The fact is that Celiac disease and wheat allergy are serious medical conditions. We would love to eat like normal people, but we can't. I am amazed at the level of hostility shown in these comments. I truly hope none of you ever have to deal with a special diet yourselves, or have children with Celiac or food allergies. You will see what a difficult road that is. A little empathy goes a long way in life.
They laugh at you at the restaurants you are loyal to, you FUCKING HIPPIE!!!
Education regarding food? Yes. CEC, CMC, and CEPC. I received the Award of Excellance from the ACF yesterday at the ACF national convention here in Orlando. I am also smart enough to know that I can find a MEDICAL DOCTOR to say just about anything I want him too. FUCK YOU!!! Eat at home you fucking hypochondriac!!!!!
Whether you agree with it or not, I can not believe how you people are talking to each other. Intelligent people don't need to insult each other to make their point.
Also, if you are dealing with "these people" on a daily basis in a restaurant shouldn't you just have gluten free options on the menu? Isn't that what restaurants do, cook what people want, not cook whatever the hell they want and tell people to stay home. If it's a pain in the ass, charge more, that's what business is all about.
Hilarious! Love this and love how mad the Glueten Free" folks are about it! Hahah
While there are some people with legitimate allergies/celiac disease, they are the minority. Most people going on and on ad nauseum about gluten-free are food fadders and hipsters. I feel sorry for those with real, actual allergies, but get annoyed with people without them who push "gluten free" (or other fads) on people.
The nice thing about restaurants is that there are so many different kinds, so everyone is bound to find one that they like. If people want gluten-free, they could go to a restaurant that has those options or that is willing to make you a dish if you have a legit intolerance/reason for not being able to eat it. It's not really fair to demand that someone change their whole operation and business just because you don't like it or can't have it. I mean, if you wanted a non-meat dish, you wouldn't go to a steakhouse, right? If you wanted an authentic Italian meal, you wouldn't go to McDonald's. So, it's a matter of finding a restaurant that matches what you want to eat rather than expecting every place to change. Plus, a restaurant changing everything would likely alienate their existing client base and loyal customers--something that could put them out of business and cost people jobs.
Really, the best solution in my view is to either ask if they can make a special dish as a one-time thing/as something that you can have when you go there as opposed to them making it every night (and to be gracious if the restaurant cannot do that, and call another place instead of making a scene about it), or find a restaurant that is already gluten-free/suited to your needs and that wouldn't have to change drastically for you. That's what's fair to both people, I think: in that case, the restaurant can do its thing and people can find something they can enjoy. Both people win.
I found this shit funny as hell, and I actually have a gluten allergy.
People need to realize that if they check out a recipe from "Cooking for Assholes", then they're going to run into something written by, and for, assholes! Amen!
People with real Celiac's can't really be compared to someone who does this as a diet. Their bodies actually produce antibodies that attack gluten as if it was a virus. This reaction basically causes them to get sick to their stomach and piss out their ass for days. Add light headedness, exhaustion, body aches, etc. Fuck hippies who do it because it's a fad. They can still drink beer and eat pizza without making it from rice flour and xanthan gum themselves.
Now that being said, I'm not one who actually ends up in the hospital, I just suffer on the toilette for days, so I try to drink a beer and eat some pizza on a Friday, and hope that I can work by Monday. It does really suck though, because I can't eat fast food when I travel for work.
Well put, anonymous (pussy). Be sure to check out this one too: http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.com/2012/05/food-newswire-woman-claiming-to-be.html
Do you even know how much I miss gluten products? The soft tender crust of a pizza made with real flour as opposed to a substitute has no comparison. What I would do to be normal again.
I gave in to weakness once after two years of being diagnosed. A breaded chicken sandwich. Was it worth the 15 minutes of bliss? I wish I could say yes. The irritating and itchy feeling of something trying to come out of your scalp, legs, and sides was such a pleasant feeling. This feeling slowed down after a day and was then replaced with dried patches of skin that were itrritating and painful. These were also painful and irritating and very difficult to relieve even with prescribed medication.
Wish I could be a hypochondriac and at least be able to eat it and be fine. But apparently guys like me don't exist. It's all just a mind thing or some shit like that.
"So, it's a matter of finding a restaurant that matches what you want to eat rather than expecting every place to change." I wish they thought the same way in public schools. I may have children just to send them to peanut butter sandwiches with them for lunch. So many whiners and they think the world needs to treat them like royalty with their "condition/sensitivity/allergy". Learn to cook for yourselves and let the rest of us enjoy our gluten/lactose/peanuts/etc. in peace.
As a former sous( and every position that led to that) in a room service kitchen and saloon kitchen at a hotel/resort, I saw this shit all the time and while I had no problem helping the one out of 25 who actually had celiacs, it was the rest of the picky, fussy, attention starved fucktards who spawn cynics like me, the culinary commentators, and the blogger. Like the drunk bitch who forces the CSR to get me on the phone bc he can't answer her pickiness. She wants me to track down a security superviser at one in the morning, so I can raid the sushi/salad/seafood joints walk in for spinach/sun dried tomato wraps for her quesadilla, bc of her celiacs and since she had a lovely spinach caesar wrap there for lunch, she's just crazy for that wrap and while I was at it, could I shred her grilled chicken for her into no larger than matchstick sized pieces, and if I could only use half the cheese, because she's watching her weight, and throw some sauerkraut and bacon on as well? Oh and while I'm also at it, have the CSR tell the waitress to bring up a carry of some nice Lager, some Yuengling or Harp or something, because she wasn't finished drinking. After telling her to eat ab dick, hanging up, getting written up the next day, and quitting a week later, I am now part owner/operator in a privately owned, hole in the wall bar where I can happily tell the hipsters to take their PBR or fuck off when they ask if I've got "glucose" free beer because of their "glucose" intolerance.
Had a biopsy for this celiac shift over 10 years ago. I hate that I have it but its either that or shit thru a needle. To all who laugh about it well all I can say is I hope you never get it or the symptoms. Even a little gluten makes you sick and fucks with your quality of life. Fuck all you asshole restaurant workers. That's why you are in shit jobs like that.....uneducated and stuck in a dead end servers job.....fuck you. Eat your fucken gluten all you fatass fucks lol. I laugh at you all and my abs do to. Lol lol
One other thing....to the "chef" prick commenting about hippies. Your job must really suck? Having too "serve" people.....I fucken laugh at you. It must really suck if it makes you that angry to cook. Oh we'll I retired at 50 and live comfortably even without gluten lol. I hope your shirtless serving job....sorry " sous chef job gets better...tgif asshole...back to work lol. Maybe you will get a tip ?
Check out glutenfreegirl.com - biggest entitled asshole around who thinks she's God's gift to the planet.
HA!!! You wish it made me angry to cook.....when actually it angers me to cater to self absorbed, pompous, hypochondriac HIPPIES like yourself. Couldn't get it all out in one post, huh? Seems like I hit a nerve. I'm sure it's not cause your self conscious about being a fraud, right? LOL
As a sufferer of celiac disease i just wanted to quickly point something out and be on my way. to the person who doesn't remake a salad that had bread crumbs on it, you are a huge douche. even the smallest bit of gluten (i want to say it's like a fifth of a crumb) can cause a reaction in me. im super sensitive. i hate it. i love gluten. before diagnosis i used to order the pasta in a bread bowl from dominos. ugh so goood. all im saying is that i don't get an immediate reaction, it usually rears its head a day or two after consumption and leaves me in excruciating pain for about 3 days. i was hospitalized overnight once because it caused my intestines to become inflamed. put yourself in my shoes. i'm not trying to make your life hard, im just trying to enjoy something everyone else gets to enjoy, a night out. your carelessness can cause me to get really ill. what if you were me and ended up incredibly ill because of someone elses carelessness and had to miss a big event because of it? i always only eat out at places who cater to gluten free because i don't want to be a hassle/ i want an educated staff. the only time i ever eat at a place that doesn't cater to my disease is for birthday dinners, or other celebratory things that i don't have the luxury of picking the venue. rubbing gluten in my face is rude. i would love to eat that sandwich. i have dreams so often about eating real pizza. it sucks for me. i just can't do it. now i know none of you probably care, and probably wont care unless you or someone you love gets stricken with this disease, but i figured i'd say my piece and maybe it might help even one person understand. if you want to continue being ignorant that's your choice.
Why the fuck is hippie a fucking insult? This hippie eats the fuck out of flour, dairy, red meat, sugar...really anything not full of preservatives and chemicals. I agree that this gluten free thing is a fad. While there are people who do suffer from celiac's, most gluten free people have given themselves an allergy by eliminating gluten from their diet and then trying to reintroduce it months or years later. Yes, they are hypochondriacs, whiners, and pains in the ass, but not hippies. As I recall, hippies taught us to smoke pot, and make love, not war. They didn't teach us to not easy bread or drink beer.
Please somebody call out the gluten free people for what they are:
Hypochondriacs!
people who have genuine health problems eat their diet quietly and do not bother other people with their dietary requirements.
Gluten free people are obviously people with a lot of mental problems who have to make every meal and every family member suffer because they have so many mental issues. please go to a shrink and stop bothering people with your stupid diet.
It's just another fad just like that b.s. food allergy in the 80's
most "genuine" health problems are treated with medication that's why no one talks about their disease. Crohns is treated with steroids and diabetes treated with insulin. unfortunately for celiac disease it is treated with a strict diet and we have to talk about it so we know what we can and can't eat. don't take it so personally. i try SO hard to stay quiet about my disease, but people insist i tell them why i am not eating at an event, or only want to talk to me about gluten. i hate talking about it. celiac is an autoimmune disease. it is legit. get over it. i don't get why you guys get so angry for other peoples health restrictions. i don't force my diet on anyone. never have. you need to get over it. you are holding so much hostility towards people for what? just so you can? get a hobby or something.
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