Sunday, November 20, 2011

Gluten Free Breakfast


Yeah fucking right. As a gluten enthusiast and fanatic, I can’t even envision a world without the magical wonder of such a protein composite. I bet all those hypochondriacs who vainly attempt to purge gluten from their diet don’t even understand why. They were probably just told by their voodoo holistic armchair doctor that it is a “toxin” and needs to be “flushed” in order to feel at one with the Buddha. What’s next? Don’t tell me people are going to stop eating carbs, or god forbid red meat. I’ll stick to stuffing my face with whatever the hell I want and not following some ridiculous hippie fad.  

Oh yeah, I made this breakfast sandwich. It is comprised of fresh off the leg prosciutto di parma, two over easy eggs, mascarpone, a light drizzle of olive oil and freshly cracked black pepper on a delicious super-extra gluten ciabatta roll. Eat it.  

15 comments:

Steve Bailey said...

As a big advocate for gluten-free cooking I am outraged at this post. You ass!!! I would like to continue to berate you... however.... I am just too weak do to my stupid diet!! Screw this Im going to get some bread!!

Kerry said...

Bread is good. This sandwich is to die for. Mascarpone on eggs? wow, I'll eat & then run around outside for awhile.

Sunny said...

I refuse to learn why gluten is supposed to be so bad for you. Just another thing for the fanatics to obsess over. This sandwich sounds really good.

Anonymous said...

Supposedly, 1 in 10 people are allergic to gluten. Be glad you aren't one of them.

Cooking Asshole said...

Is "supposedly" one of those fancy medical terms like psychosomatic?

Tender B. said...

Super extra gluteny ciabatta rolls are alright by me.

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kristina said...

This post makes me want to have your babies and/or abortion, wherever you stand.

GlutenHater said...

Go fuck yourself. Gluten makes me sick, as in I will vomit in your ugly face if I eat it. Go fuck yourself again, and have some sympathy for those of us who literally cannot consume beer and bread.

Portland Coffee Company said...

Looks yummy and healthy to me:-)

REALITY said...

LMAO!! Nice job! I have HAD it with this Gluten Free BULLSHIT! Get a a treadmill and run if you need to lose weight. Stop making people uncomfortable and RUINING family holidays, going out to eat with others, and any other way you throw this ridiculous, greedy, made up disease. I realize their is such a thing as Celiac disease, but LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING....If you're reading this, you know you don't have it, rather, the need to defend it because YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT!!

Anonymous said...

GlutenHater, calm the fuck down!! he's not making fun of people who are allergic/whatever you call it, people who physically can't eat gluten. he's making fun of those people who've decided that gluten, like practically everything else humans shove into our faces, is "bad" for you and that all of the world's fat people are fat because they eat it and blah blah fuckin blah. it's another fad diet. i imagine he may possibly feel sympathy for you since you "literally cannot consume beer and bread" (and i would too, except you're an angry fucking cunt who needs to take their misplaced anger elsewhere), however, as i and he can consume these things, and enjoy it, we will continue to. people who insist you change their diet based on the current "diet" trends are the ones who need to go fuck themselves. and you, also, for getting your panties in a wad. jesus christ.

Azalea said...

OMG laughing so hard!

kevroy said...

It was that pithead Oprah who started fermenting this can of worms by saying stuff like "I'm detoxing from gluten" on her idiot show.

Line Dick said...

I work at a busy restaraunt and see a lot of this gluten free bullshit. I've had salads sent back because they had a piece of bread on them. Guess what, I didn't remake that shit! You're not going to go into anaphylactic shock from a piece of bread you fucking numb nuts! So take the bread off your salad, shut the fuck up and eat your food! I used to think there was nothing worse than a vegan untill this shit happened!