Killer Koffee Ketchup

1/2 White Onion, minced

5 Cloves of Garlic, Minced

1tbl Chili Powder

1tsp Cumin, your mouth

1/2tsp Cayenne

6oz Tomato Paste

1 1/2c Coffee, the liquid and not the grinds you moron

1c Diced Tomatoes, with juice

1/3c Brown Sugar

1/4c White Vinegar

1/4c Cider Vinegar

1tbl Molasses

1tsp Kosher Salt

What a great name for ketchup; I can’t believe no one has come up with it yet. It even has a sweet acrony…oh fuck. Whoops. I’m going to get some angry emails over this one. It has brown sugar and black coffee in it! Okay, lets change the name to Crazy Coffee Catsup Project. That’s better, right? Wait, goddamn it! Well, at least it’s a little better now.

I wanted to make some ketchup for a meatloaf concept I have and after developing the recipe on paper it ended up looking a lot like a mix between my Vinegar Based BBQ Sauce and my Tomato Based BBQ Sauce. Oh well, fuck it. Here is another BBQ sauce recipe; ketchup sucks anyway.

Sauté the onion in some oil over medium heat until fragrant. Add the garlic and spices and stir that shit around for a minute or two. Dump in the remaining ingredients and lightly simmer uncovered for about two hours. Let it cool, pour it into a food processor, and pulse the fuck out of that bitch. Scoop the “ketchup” into a mason jar and let it sit in the fridge overnight for optimal flavor experience. Eat it.