Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Pork Loaf


1 Yellow Onion, diced
4 Garlic Cloves, minced
3 Large Red Potatoes, grated and pressed
1tsp Smoked Paprika
1tsp Chili Powder
1tsp Old Bay

2c Jack Cheese
1.5lbs Ground Pork
3/4c Killer Koffee Ketchup, plus more for topping
1/3 Salt Pork, diced
1/3 Stale Baguette, diced
2 Eggs

A veritable orgasm of flavors will burst into your salivating mouth when you try my thick and juicy pork loaf. Just one loaf is capable of impregnating an entire city. There will be hybrid loaf-humans for a few generations but then the loafs will take over and treat humans as second-class citizens like we do to the gingers. Luckily as the loaf’s creator I will be their immortal Grand Overload. My first action of office will be to enslave humanity and force them to work in loaf factories. You better start practicing.     

Saute the onion, garlic and potatoes for a few minutes. Add the spices and stir it around for another minute or two. Set aside to cool.  Mash the remaining ingredients together and then dump in the onion/potato mixture. Cram all that mixed up crap into a bread loaf pyrex and smother the top with more Killer Koffee Ketchup.

Bake that bitch at 350 degrees for a little over an hour. Let it cool and flip it over to make it look extra loafy. Now you are ready for your newly assigned occupation, Loaf Maker #930621. Eat it. 

7 comments:

Steve Bailey said...

I tried your pork loaf... but it was limp! Just sayin!

Grace said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tender b. said...

That thing looks like it could kill someone (in more ways than one).

ZNP said...

shit looks disgusting, fuckface.

Anonymous said...

Looks like another fucking meatloaf to me. Still, I'd eat it.

The chocolatier said...

Old Bay Seasoning
1 Tbsp. Celery Seed
1 Tbsp Whole Black Peppercorns
6 Bay Leaves
1/2 tsp. Whole Cardamom
1/2 tsp. Mustard Seed
4 Whole Cloves
1 tsp. Sweet Hungarian Paprika
1/4 tsp. Mace
Dash of Salt
In a spice grinder or small food processor, combine all of the ingredients.
Grind well and store in a small glass jar.

Red said...

So gross. You might as well just opened up a can a spam and fried that shit. It'd been way awesomer. Ewww.