Winter Roast

2lb Cross Rib Roast

1c Vegetable or Beef Broth

1 1/2c Dry Red Wine

1/2 Yellow Onion, sliced

4 Cloves of Garlic, minced

1tbl Dijon Mustard

1tsp Herbs de Provence

Salt & Pepper

2 Rutabagas, peeled and chopped

2 Turnips, peeled and chopped

3 Parsnips, peeled and chopped

4 Carrots, peeled and chopped

5 Red Potatoes, chopped

8 Sprigs of Fresh Thyme

Salt & Pepper

This year I decided to make a winter roast with the hippie root vegetables I shunned last year and they actually turned out really well.  “Hey genius! I hate to break it to you but it is not technically winter yet.” Holy fuck. You think I give a shit? Well guess what? It is goddamned winter now you prescriptivist prick. “Why?” Because I fucking said so, bitch. As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, these weirdo roots were pretty darn good with the exception of the rutabaga. That poor bastard tastes like sweet potato and sweet potatoes fucking blow.

Mix all the marinade ingredients and soak the beef for eight hours. In the fridge, stupid.

Take the remaining ingredients and toss them with a little vegetable oil. Place them in a super large casserole/baking dish, cover with tin foil, and roast at 425 degrees for a little over an hour.

Pull the beef out of the marinade and quickly sear it over high heat to make it look pretty. Turn the oven down to 225 degrees, remove the tin foil from the vegetables, and place the beef on top. Cook it for another two hours. A fork should easily pierce the vegetables and the beef should be at exactly 140 degrees if you are a pussy and need to use a meat thermometer. Let the beef sit for ten minutes before you start slicing it. Eat it.