There are tons of hippies in Portland with nothing better to
do than smoke reefer and play in their backyard. The most fashionable trend in
“urban gardening” is chicken husbandry. I’ve had backyard eggs, small farm
eggs, and industrial factory eggs. They all taste like fucking eggs. People are
just so busy masturbating to the idea they are saving the goddamn world by
having pet chickens that their pliable brains tell them they taste better. They
don’t. In any case, last night I went “urban chicken egg hunting” and made some
scrambled eggs this morning. Tomorrow I’ll post a recipe for Whole Roasted
Urban Chicken.
Crack the eggs into a bowl and add sour cream, water, salt,
and pepper. Whisk them together until the yolks are completely combined with
the whites. Melt a little butter in a pan over medium to medium-low heat
depending on the calibration of your range. Pour in the eggs and let the bottom
set ever so slightly. Using a wooden spatula, pull the sides into the center allowing
the liquid to gain access to the heated surface while simultaneously removing
the slightly cooked portion from direct heat. As soon as the entirety of the liquid
has barely become solid, pull the pan off the heat source and slide the eggs onto
a plate.
I used the eggs to make this breakfast sandwich. It has
mayo, fancy salami, and a bloomy rind cheese from Vermont. Eat it.
23 comments:
Stunning!
A former colleague brought in some fresh eggs. He raises chickens.
I notice that the yolks had a deeper tone of yellow indicating a little more sulfur.
And they tasted a tad richer than store bought eggs.
^THIS. They do taste better, asshole.
They all taste the same! I feel a blind taste test is in order here.
I think you're right about a lot of things but you really couldn't be any more wrong about the eggs. Eggs raised on forage (pasture) are objectively different. They have more beta carotene and Omega 3 fats (and a bunch of other shit that I'm not going to go into because I'm sure you don't give a fuck). They even look different; pastured eggs have far deeper colored yolks, and the whites stand up higher in the pan. The difference now, in the winter, isn't as striking as in the spring, summer and fall, but is still apparent.
When I lived in Portland, two of my hens disappeared....
I agree with the others, fresh eggs taste better. You're an idiot.
You stole a hippies chicken? Can't wait for tomorrows recipe.
You actually posted an entire article on how to scramble a fucking egg. Maybe next week you'll teach us how to fry one. The anticipation is killing me.
Sorry, there's a HUGE difference between supermarket eggs and pastured. Do a fucking taste test and you'll see. PS--that sandwich looks awesome.
I wonder if this applies to people...
There's a fuckin experiment:
Do hookers' eggs produce different "results" than, say, a Catholic school girl's? hmh...
Nice sandwich...
Wow, it's hard to argue with such airtight logic. Truly one of the great wits of our time has thrown down the intellectual gauntlet. Bravo.
I live in the country in Wisconsin, and I have never noticed a difference between store bought and farm fresh free range.
I have heard all the arguments regarding the yolks, antibodies, taste, etc, but haven't ever noticed it.
Farm raised do last longer and do not require refrigeration. But I am with you, asshole, I think it is a self indulgent hippy crowd that is trying to guilt us and sell us on these "better eggs".
Well bravo for responding to a dumbass comment...
Thanks for your, uh, "gangster" feedback, though.
Losers
I think next time you should dress in a fox outfit
My mom has chickens, so I go between fresh and store bought eggs all the time. I can't say I really notice much of a difference in taste when I scramble eggs. But it is there. Also, the yolk is definitely a darker yellow, and I do think the yolk is "stickier." Because when I use the eggs to coat something before breading it or if the eggs are done over easy for dipping, they do seem better than the store bought.
Everyone I give these eggs to say they taste so much better, but I think you're right by insinuating that its mostly a placebo effect.
I'm certain that the virtues attributed to backyard eggs can be explained by two factors: placebo effect and egg freshness from young chickens.
The latter is due to the fact that commercial eggs are rarely less than a week old when you can buy them. A freshly-laid egg, like from a backyard chicken, has perfectly intact membranes on the insides, as the naturally occurring lecithins in the yolk haven't had time to break it down. The white hasn't started to break down or dehydrate either. That's why the yolks seem stickier and stand up better and a fresh egg is best for poaching. Let backyard eggs age a week before you use them, and they'll look and behave like store eggs.
Young chickens tend to lay smaller eggs with thicker shells, not because they are free range, but because they haven't depleted their medullary bones' calcium supply. Old chickens lay large, thin shelled eggs because the vents are stretched out and the medullary calcium is depleted. This is why, if you are competing in an egg drop, you want the smallest eggs you can find, and if they come from your own chickens, feed them mineral supplements.
The only true difference between store eggs and backyard eggs is the yolk color. Commercial chickens are fed marigold extract in their feed to produce an even yellow yolk color. Freeranging birds, in the summer at least, eat a lot of vegetable matter and the yolks are darker. Winter eggs (if your birds will lay them) will have pale yolks. There's probably some small nutritional difference, but I'm not using Google-fu to look for it.
I know, I know: tl;dr courtesy of your internet bitch with a biology degree and an interest in chickens.
Some people might be buying better quality commercial eggs, that could explain some of the argument between store bought and farm fresh eggs tasting the same. Ihe eggs I buy from the dollar store taste like shit.
The backyard eggs I use are better than store bought, but only if the hens are eating worms and ticks in addition to chicken feed.
They have to be fresh, too. Maybe it has something to do with the breed of chicken. But there is definitely a difference; it's not placebo effect.
Nice roll. You make that, Asshole?
And is that brie or Camembert?
Yeah...I totally made that roll.
It's Moses Sleeper.
Holy cow... I could eat two of those right now with some molasses...
Let me shit in your asshole
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