1/2c Goose Fat.
Since reserving the fat from my Christmas Goose I have been on
the lookout for interesting applications. This total moron I know and
[unfortunately] lives near me, @conoat, said he was going to fatwash some rye
whiskey so I stole his idea and made it better. That’s the American way.
Heat the fat over medium heat until it starts bubbling. Dump
the brandy in a mason jar, pour in the hot fat, slightly cool, and cover.
Shakeweight that shit every ten minutes for a couple hours or you can just pay
that bitch Tina from the corner who gives one dollar handjobs to do it for you.
Put it in the freezer overnight.
Pull the Gooze from the freezer, let briefly thaw, and run
it through one of those metal mesh thingies. Pour it into another mason jar and
put it back in the freezer. Later that day, remove it from the freezer and let
it briefly thaw. Put a coffee filter in one of those metal mesh thingies and
pour it through. Don't forget to put a receptacle under the strainer. Been there
before. Squeeze to drain out all the remaining Gooze.
Bacon vodka can lick my anus; Gooze is the fucking shit. You can sip it straight up or create some kind of hipster bullshit
cocktail. As an added
bonus, you can smear the congealed booze fat on your toast or pancakes. If your
boss asks why you smell like hooch at eight in the morning at least now you’ll
have an excuse. Drink it.
8 comments:
You fucking fail.
I gotta say bro...you are back. Not that you left per say but that recipe and your write up was what brought me to this website. This may be so five minutes ago but have you checked out Vegan Black Metal Chef?
You have the funniest, most honest sensibility I've ever seen. Americans have the most retarded palate development on the planet but because they watch Iron Chef and eat at fucking Fridays everyone is now a food critic.
I laughed so hard reading your blogs tears were coming out of my eyes.
This is probably the most disgusting (and funny) thing I've read recently.
were you trying to make me throw up?
good job, it worked.
it's really hard to throw up while laughing.
I have seen the vegan black metal chef. While I find it hilarious and well done, it is impossible for me to sit through the whole fucking thing due to my incredibly short American attention span.
Plus, vegans suck.
Love it. I''m going to try it with duck fat but lost too many brain cells from drinking my bacon bourbon to come up with a clever name for it. Ha.
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