Duck Liver Pate OR Shit Smoothie

2Tbl Duck Fat or Butter

1/2 White or Yellow Onion, minced

4 Garlic Cloves, minced

1/2tsp Provence Herbs

1/4c Red Wine

.5lb Duck Liver

Kosher Salt & Cracked Black Pepper, lots

Most morons, i.e. you, think of pate as some kind of difficult, expensive Frenchie restaurant bullshit.  This could not be further from the truth.  You can make incredibly delicious pate at home for less than a blowjob from a toothless meth head hooker of French heritage.   

Melt the duck fat, or butter if you suck, and sauté the onion until slightly softened.  Add the garlic and continue to sauté until you can no longer smell its rawness.  Too many people rely solely on their eyes when cooking.  Pay attention to the food’s scent.  It will tell you a story incredibly more complex than its appearance.  When the garlic is fragrant add the provence herbs, stir a few times, and add the red wine.   Some people use cognac instead of red wine but I didn’t have an open bottle of Louis XIII in the liquor cabinet.  I did, however, have enough left in an old bottle of Chinon Cab Franc.  If you decide to use cognac, use half the volume and add it post-cooking but pre-blend.  Bring the red wine to heat, and stew the liver until it changes color. 

Dump all that shit in a food processor, add some salt and pepper, and puree the living fuck out of it.  Taste it, add more salt and pepper if needed, and continue to puree until it looks like the morning after a Taco Bell Doritos Locos eating contest.  Eat it.