Saturday, April 7, 2012
Slooze 1: The British Colonialist
2c Boiling Water
4 Bags of Green Tea
2c Tonic Water
Juice from 2 Large Limes
1c Rotgut Gin, stored in the freezer
My first thought when an ice cream maker crossed the threshold into my kitchen was “let’s put booze in it.” Although beer and wine freeze just fine (see Boozicles), hard liquor does not. Apparently you can add gelatin to get an acceptable consistency but that’s fucking cheating. You can also use liquid nitrogen but I’m a cook, not an Emperor’s New Clothes molecular gastronomist. So what is the only reasonable solution? Slooze.
Pour the boiling water over the teabags and sugar. Let it steep for five minutes, discard the teabags, and let cool. Add the tonic water and put the mixture in the fridge until cold.
Pour the mixture into your ice cream maker, let it churn it for about 25 minutes, add the gin for another five minutes, and serve immediately. Now you’re ready to exert your imperialist inclinations on some poor uncivilized nation with a wealth of natural resources (i.e. get that bitch down the street who just won big on scratch-offs to buy you some motherfucking Thunderbird). Drink it.