Dulce de Leche Brownies

1c Dulce de Leche

1 1/2c Flour

1c Sugar

1/4c Cocoa Powder

1/4c Malt Powder

1/2tsp Baking Powder

1 1/2c Chocolate, coarsely chopped

1/2c Vegetable Oil

1/4c Water

2 Eggs

1tsp Vanilla, ice ice baby

First you need to make your Dulche de Leche, which is what pretentious shitbags call caramelized milk.  My Mexican girlfriend made it once by boiling a can of sweetened condensed milk for three fucking hours.  Not only did this seem like way too long for some crappy milk caramel but also appeared incredibly stupid since the can bulged out like crazy.  I thought that shit was going to explode spraying shrapnel and hot cream all over.  Luckily that didn’t happen but I’m not going to do it again as I don’t want to be the headline of the local news. 

In any case, on the can of condensed milk it provided a much easier alternative to boiling the can while explicitly stating that they do no recommend boiling the can.  It suggested you pour the milk into a shallow pyrex and place it in another larger pyrex that has some water in it, effectively creating a oven double boiler, and bake it at 425 degrees for 50-60 minutes.  After 50 minutes, it was apparent the can had lied to me.  After two hours, I took the empty can outside and pumped it full of lead.  After the same amount of time it would have taken to boil the stupid fucking can, it was done.  Set aside and let it cool completely.

Whisk together the first four ingredients and stir in the chocolate.  Dump in the remaining ingredients and stir until smooth.  Pour the batter into a greased 9x9 pyrex or something similar and evenly pour the milk caramel over the top.  Since you’re one of those people who always has something to prove, feel free to swirl a knife through the layered batter to marble it.

Bake it at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes.  Let it cool completely.  Top with finishing salt to let the world know you have class and are special.  Morton’s is not finishing salt.  Eat it.