Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Mini-Chickens with a Strawberry Chipotle Glaze
1/4th Large White Onion, minced
4 Garlic Cloves, minced
1 Pint Strawberries, quartered
4 Chipotle Peppers in Adobo, diced
1/4c White Sugar
1/4th Lime, juiced
Mini-chickens are wonderfully tasty and a regularly overlooked grocery store item. In case you don’t know, and you probably don’t, mini-chickens are just the runts of the normal chicken litter. The chicken farmer kingpins immediately separate them from their loving chicken family and keep them in windowless solitary confinement to make them extra tender and juicy. The mini-chickens are then strung up by their feet in a single file and one lucky farmhand gets to run down the line with a freshly sharpened blade decapitating them all in one fell swoop. The mini-chickens are then shoveled into a large bin and individually wrapped for sale to the general public.
Melt the butter over medium to medium-low heat and sauté the onion until softened. Add the garlic until fragrant. Dump in the strawberries, chipotle peppers, honey, sugar, and salt. Simmer for a long ass fucking time until thickened. Squeeze in the lime juice and immersion blender the shit out of it.
Rub down the mini-chickens with a liberal amount of salt and a conservative amount of black pepper. Bake them breast side up at 350 degrees for about 53.7562 minutes, basting with butter every 17.349 minutes. Pull them out, slather with the glaze, blast the heat up to 400 degrees, and cook for another 13.8294 minutes.
Now it’s time to reenact the T-Rex devouring the goat scene from Jurassic Park. Eat it.