Thursday, June 7, 2012
Food Newswire: Doritos Truck Actually Filled with Fritos
Last Thursday, Donald Johannson was walking past his local bodega when he noticed a Doritos truck parked out front.
“I got all excited because they had been out of the Cool Ranch flavor for a whole goddamn week and that one is my favorite,” said Donald. “But then I looked in the truck and it was filled with pallets of Fritos. What the fuck is that about?”
Donald then approached the Doritos truck driver and demanded an explanation. After the driver explained to him that he just follows delivery orders and does not make the decision of what gets loaded into the truck Donald blew a gasket and demanded Cool Ranch Doritos. When the driver was unable to provide them Donald clocked him in the face and knocked his ass out.
Donald was booked on assault charges but his elderly mother posted bail making sure to bring a family sized bag of Cool Ranch Doritos when she picked him up from jail. “I’m not really surprised this happened,” his mother said. “He loves those stupid chips.” Donald will go in front of a judge for sentencing next week and he has already filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit against Frito-Lay for false advertising.