Jamaican Style Oxtail Stew

2lb Oxtail

6 Strips of Bacon

1/2 a Large White Onion

1 Jalapeno, minced

4 Garlic Cloves, minced

Jamaican Jerk Spice Mixture

15oz Can Diced Tomatoes

12oz Beer

3c Water

Bay Leaf

Vinegar, a healthy splash

Salt

1 Red Bell Pepper

1 Yellow Bell Pepper

15oz Can Black Beans

15oz Can Black Eyed Peas

This dish is as Jamaican as a pasty white dreadlocked hippie in Vermont but who gives a shit?  Not me.  Their food probably sucks anyway since they are too busy fighting street gang wars and trafficking cocaine.  Plus, I’ll never ever forgive them for unleashing Peter Tosh on the world so fuck them and their crappy food. 

The recipe is basically a rip off of my Italian oxtail stew over pasta but this one has Caribbean spices, beans, peppers, and is served over rice in a fucking steel drum.  Brown the oxtail in some oil, remove and set aside.  Add the bacon and cook that shit up, remove and set aside.  Sauté the onion and jalapeno in the bacon fat until softened.  Add the garlic and spices.  Cook until fragrant.  Dump in the canned tomatoes (if you want to boil, peel, and crush your own tomatoes be my guest), beer (it is mandatory you drink one, or seven, as well), water (up to half of this may be beef stock if desired but not necessary), bay leaf, vinegar, and a shitload of salt.  Bring to a boil, drop the heat, and simmer for about three and a half hours.  Add the remaining ingredients and simmer for another thirty minutes or so.  Strip the meat off the vertebrae and give the bones to your dog/ugly wife.  Serve over rice.    

Possible improvements: Add chopped carrot when you add the onion, add fresh grated ginger when you add the garlic, and serve with lime wedges.  Also a stable government, less abject destitute poverty, and a public trial resulting in the life imprisonment of Peter Tosh for creating the worst music the world has ever heard.  Eat it.