Blueberry and Nectarine Sonker

2 Nectarines

1/2pt Blueberries

1/4c Sugar

2tsp Cornstarch

Juice from 1/4^th Large Lemon

Salt

1/2c Flour

1/4c Cornmeal (I bet oats would be great too)

2tsp Baking Powder

Salt

1 Stick Butter, chilled and diced

A few globs of John Stamos Yogurt

I decided to make a cobbler with some blueberries and nectarines but all I could think about was how cobbler is a totally stupid name.  Apparently some people back in the day thought the dish resembled a cobblestone street so they named it after a guy who fixes shoes.  Makes sense.  During the course of my interwebs sleuthing on Wikipedia, I discovered that the Carolina hill people make a deep-dish single-fruit cobbler they call “sonker.”  Although my cobbler is of the shallow-dish multiple-fruit variety, I’m calling it sonker.  I like the word better so the definition of sonker is now whatever the fuck I want because fuck you.  And fuck cobbler.

Mix all the filling ingredients together.  Dump them in a shallow baking dish. 

Toss the dry ingredients of the topping into a food processor.  Blast that shit up.  Grind in the butter.  As I was out of sour cream I used that pretty boy yogurt to bind the topping.  If I didn’t have a suitable foodstuffs substitute I would have used a little water.  Spread the topping out in a thin layer over the filling.

Bake uncovered in the oven for 20 minutes at 325 degrees, crank the heat to 375 degrees, and bake for another 15 minutes.  This recipe can be doubled, tripled, or even octupled.  “My oven only goes to 500 degrees.  If I double the recipe how can I cook it at 650-725 degrees?”  Start a trash fire in your front yard.  “Good idea! Thanks!”  Eat it.