Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Green Dragon


1/2oz High Quality Reefer*
750ml Finnish Vodka

Grind up the cheeba and stir it into a pot filled with vodka.  Warm it up over very, very low heat.  Finnish vodka is the best.  Fuck the Russians with their denim jackets and track pants. And don’t even get me started on that Frenchie Grey Goose bullshit.

Clip a candy thermometer to the side of the pot.  Don’t try and use a regular thermometer because it will probably explode and poison everyone that loves you.  In other words, your 7 cats might die. 

Slowly increase the heat until the mixture gets to 160 degrees.  Cook for 20 minutes.  Do not let it go over 165 and absolutely not 170 or you will have wasted your entire paycheck for the last month. If the heat is climbing remove the pot from the stove, lower the burner, and then place it back on stove.

Strain through a coffee filter, cheesecloth, sieve, whatever. Let it cool.

Drink it.

*If you are poor as shit and can’t even afford a half ounce, which is super depressing, you can use a gram and two shots for a single serving.  Related: get a fucking job so you can buy multiple ounces at a time.

6 comments:

captNaj said...

Man, will this shit fuck you up. I use the cold fusion method, which is a fancy way of saying I put the green in the bottle and leave it for a few weeks, but this is much faster and therefore better. 'Preciate you sharing this recipe (and trying to appeal to every possible cool-kids demographic).

Adorably Dead said...

Thanks for looking out for my 7 cats.

Anonymous said...

As an "old chick" (58y) I have trouble keeping up with the newly discovered delivery methods that you kids come up with. This sounds like a fabulous plan for shots at my Xmas party. Thanks! Now for some reason I'm also thinking about a variation on the Habanero and Pineapple Brownies, lol. Keep up the good work Asshole, you're my hero.

Anonymous said...

btw I was kidding about the "shots" thing lol.
-old chick

Anonymous said...

You just jumped the shark, homie. What's next, X and ginger?

-Andrew Jackson

Anonymous said...

Gordon Ramsey does not approve.