The Liquid Speedball

Cheetos, crushed

Green Dragon

Red Bull

Fanta

There is nothing quite like mixing uppers and downers before you head off to your sweet office job.  Fuck, if I had to work in a cubicle I’d be mainlining heroin just to dull the pain of knowing I’d never accomplish anything worthwhile in my long draining pathetic life.  I don’t know how you do it.

Wet the rim of your Keyboard Cat coffee mug and spin it through the crushed cheetos.  Fill it with ice, pour in the next three ingredients, and guzzle it down.  At least your hour and a half gridlocked commute will be a little more interesting.  Be sure to make a playlist that alternates between Slayer and Enya.  Drink it.