Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Creole Jambalaya



4 Celery Stalks, Sliced
2 Green Bell Peppers, diced
2 Small Yellow Onions, diced
15oz Can Diced Tomatoes, undrained
3tbl Paprika
1tbl Old Bay
2tsp Thyme
2tsp Oregano
2tsp Basil
2tsp Kosher Salt
1tsp, Black Pepper
1/2tsp Cayenne Pepper
2lbs Bone-In Chicken Thighs, boiled (reserve chicken water)
1lb Andouille Sausage, cooked and sliced (widthwise, idiot)
3c Reserved Chicken Water
2c Water
3c Rice
White Vinegar, a healthy splash
1lb Shrimp, raw

Green Onions (or Parsley), for garnish

In Creole the word Jambalaya means “throw a bunch of crap in a pot and let it cook.”  It originates from the days of the Great Depression when the people didn’t have shit to eat.  Towns would gather everything they had, threw it all in a pot, and let it cook.  Jambalaya has a few different variations depending on principality and level of poverty but I just made it the way I fucking wanted to since I’m not some poor Southern bastard in 1934.  Also because fuck you. 

Start by sautéing the celery, peppers, and onions until softened.  This is called the “Trinity” which is funny because that’s the same name of the hooker that hangs out in front of the liquor store.  Add the tomatoes and spices.  Stir that shit around for a while.  Dump in the chicken and sausage.  Mix it all together.  Are you still with me here?  Is this moving too fast for you?  “Wait, what?  I wasn’t paying attention.”  Nevermind.  Pour in the water, reserved chicken water, Louisiana Tea, rice, and vinegar.  Bring to a boil over medium heat, cover, and reduce heat to medium-low.  After 20 minutes, stir in the shrimp, put the lid back on the pot, and turn off the heat.

Garnish with green onions, or parsley, and a bottle of Trappey’s hot sauce.  Eat it.

4 comments:

SPREADCRASHER said...

NICE! RECIPE. And the photo is making me HUNGRY.
Tonight I have some dinner guest arriving around midnight(drunkin assholes looking for free food). Think ill give this recipe a shot. Gonna sub the Louisiana Tea with shrimp-shell stock and the Andouille with italian sausage. What did you say?. Thats a brilliant idea?. Ya i know. Im good like that. And if anyone complains about my food ill give them directions to McDonald's,
and tell them to get the fuck out.


Have a nice day (: SPREADCRASHER

Nash Ruin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
thevulgarchef said...

I like how this page calls me out for deleting my previous comment.

snitch

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