Thursday, October 4, 2012

Prosciutto Heel Soup

3c 13 Bean Mix
1 Prosciutto di Parma Heel
7 Tomatoes
7 Garlic Cloves
3 Yellow Onions
6 Yellow or Red Potatoes
White Vinegar

“Prosciutto di Parma heel?  What in the hell is that?”  Well, fucknuts, it is the end of an Italian cured pork leg that self-respecting butchers can no longer slice to sell.  These can be acquired for a super low price or even for free since most places just throw them in the dumpster like a dead hooker.  Typically you would never cook prosciutto for any real length of time but the heel is an exception, a very tasty exception.          

Soak the beans overnight in an assload of water.  Drain and rinse.  “I only have a 12 bean mix.  Will that work?”  No, dumbass.  It has to be 13.  Dump them in a big ass pot with the prosciutto heel.  Pour in 13 cups of water.  Bring it to a boil and simmer for an about an hour.  It will require vigilant fat skimming.

In the meantime, core the tomatoes, stuff a garlic clove in each one, and place them hole down on a baking sheet.  Peel the skin off the onions, halve them widthwise, and place them on the same baking sheet.  Drizzle with oil, sprinkle with salt, and put them in a 250 degree oven for about an hour and a half.

Cut the potatoes into large chunks and throw them in the pot after the first hour mark.  When the tomatoes, garlic, and onion are done, mash them up and throw them in too.  Add salt and vinegar to taste.  Once everything looks done, turn off the heat and remove the heel.  Trim off all the bullshit, tear apart the meat, and return it to the pot.  Stir and serve.  Eat it.    


Portland Charcuterie Project said...

too bad you're not still in portland.. I threw one away last month

think I might try this one in december when I cut my next one.

Uglyontheinsidetoo said...

Oh, pork fat, is there anything you can't make delicious?

fuckyou said...

Help me out here. Is your photo suposed to look like faux cat shit or pig vomit? How can you present this bullshit recipe. I was making better food when you were a nut stain in your mamas draws.

READ IT ! Dick bag

Cooking Asshole said...

So you are old as shit and spend your time posting pussy anonymous interweb comments? That's depressing. 

Hey PCP, I've been back in PDX for over a year. Email me, idiot.


So you are old as shit and spend your time posting pussy anonymous interweb comments? That's depressing.

having trouble signing up to your site. will try again soon.
I enjoy your work chef.

Cooking Asshole said...


Cooking Asshole said...

And I ain't no fucking chef


OK OK..Put the meth pipe down "twitchy" I know your not really a "fuckin chef". Proof is in your recipes. Was just trying to be nice. But now, go fuck yourself..Please take down the photo. making me sick. OR, change the title to: "How I fucked up my Prosciutto"

Something else really bothering me about this post. Whos the asshole who said; """Oh, pork fat, is there anything you can't make delicious?""" ......Ummmm. Ice cream? Corn Flakes? On a Dirty Brown Eye?...What a stupid comment. If you dont have something witty or constructive to say. Then shut the fuck up.

Have a nice day (: SPREADCRASHER

Anonymous said...

Can you do a recipe with your mums used tampon as the main ingredient?