Dried Fruit Platter

Put some fucking dried fruit on a goddamn platter, super genius. 

Tacogaritas

4oz Tacoquila

Juice from 1 Big Ass Lime

Ice

Margarita Monday can now flow directly into Taco Tuesday without interruption. The Tacogarita is nutritious, delicious, and boozalicious. It doesn’t need any pansy ass orange liqueur and it sure as fuck doesn’t belong in a stemmed glass. Just a little lime juice and a mason jar makes Tacoquila perfect for guzzling in the sun on a plastic lawn chair while blasting speed metal. Drink it.

Tacoquila

1lb Ground Beef

1/2 White Onion, diced

1 Garlic Clove, sliced

1 Medium Jalapeno, diced

2tbl Chili Powder

2tsp Paprika

2tsp Cumin, your mouth

2c Tequila Blanco

Every fucking yuppie cocktail bar has a wall full of infused liquors. These dumb jackasses think that by throwing some fruit into booze it makes them a goddamn artist. Guess what? You’re not. I’ll see your pineapple vodka and raise you Tacoquila. It’s time to fold, bitches. You don’t want to ruin the pleats in your precious khaki Dockers.

Cook the first section of ingredients over medium heat until the meat browns. Eat some fucking tacos. Take 1c of the beefy mix, dump it in a large mason jar, and pour in the tequila. At this point follow the same instructions as Gooze. After you strain the beefiness out the next morning, incorporate it into your breakfast so you can grab the day by the balls. No one fucks with people drunk on Tacoquila at 8am.

Take shots of Tacoquila like a man or make something completely moronic like Tacogaritas. Drink it.